Monster
by xxxThe Mad Hatterxxx
Summary: SONGFICxxx when Sesshomaru loses himself to the beast inside and still finds a happy ending even though he feels like a monster ONESHOT


**Monster **

**Lyrics by Skillet, Characters by Rumiko Takahashi and Story by Mad Hatter … me **

_The secret side of me, I never let you see  
I keep it caged but I can't control it  
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly  
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it_

Kagome walked towards the man she loved, his long silver hair danced on the wind. This wasn't the Hanyou that everyone thought she loved; no this was his older half-brother Sesshomaru. His aura spiked it felt different a lot like the first time she ever saw him, and yet she still walked towards him without fear. "Sesshomaru?" she asked quietly his back was turned to her and all she could she was his silver hair and tensed posture, "what's wrong" she asked when he didn't acknowledge her. Still silence was what she got; they hadn't been together long maybe a couple of months but even in the short amount of time she still knew that in this moment something was wrong with him. He growled as she reached for him, the growl wasn't quite the one she had heard many times before. It was feral in a way tinged with an animal underneath. "Please tell me what is wrong," she said shakily trying her best to ignore the fear that was screaming to her to get away from him. He didn't move, he didn't speak all he did was stand there muscles tight and ready. For what she didn't know. Another growl escaped him and this time she saw him move slightly "Kagome get away from me" he growled out roughly causing her to jump at his voice. "why Sesshomaru … what is wrong with you?" right about now she should have been running away hoping to god he didn't kill her but her gods given inquisitive nature was getting the better of her. "just leave now" she shouted as he moved away, she made no move she wanted to comfort him and make him better but she couldn't seeing as for one she had no idea what was wrong with him. In a flash, he turned around his eyes crimson, his aura spiked cracked around her like fire. "Please get away," he said gruffly pushing her away. She stumbled backwards and looked at him he growled and licked his lips.

_It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls  
It comes awake and I can't control it  
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head  
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?  
_

Inside his head, he was at war with his beast. **'If you let me out it won't hurt so much'** his beast said straining against him "no I won't let you out I have control over you" he growled.** "ha you have control over me that's what you want to think, I'm a part of you a part you don't indulge enough and I'm tired of it so either you let me out or I force myself out and eat the Miko' **the beast remarked. As he fought with himself, Kagome stood there watching him her eyes wide. He snarled revealing his elongated fangs, Kagome stepped back a few steps. He looked up at her a reached out to her, he wanted her help to stop the fire that ran through his blood, to help the rage and anger he was feeling. His body felt like a tight coil waiting to be snapped at any moment but not in a good way. All the things he usually denied were all washing over him in a wave after wave almost drowning him in all the emotions. She stepped forward again taking hid clawed hand in hers "its ok I'm here" she whispered her eyes full of worry and fear. It had been years so many he couldn't even remember since he let the beast out, he didn't count when he fought Inuyasha in their father's tomb because it hadn't been like this. No there were times when he could use the beast's power often to help him or when in rage but it was still him and he could make thoughts and decisions for himself. Times like these were different because he wouldn't be himself the beast would take him over completely. Everyday he lived with the beast in his head, telling him things and gaining certain powers and strengths from the beast. What it wanted was total control absolute power even if for a moment or a year it didn't matter as long as the beast was free. The last time the beast had been freed was right after his father died, in moments of weakness and self pity he had let it go and since then vowed to be in control at all times.

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin  
I must confess that I feel like a monster  
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun  
I must confess that I feel like a monster  
_

In a final surge, he felt the beast break its chains and bust free. Taking with him the last of Sesshomaru's control and rendering the Lord helpless, the beast smiled and tightened his grip on Kagome. "Are you ok?" she asked confused but he didn't answer he merely looked at her and then dropped her hand and disappeared from sigh. It couldn't have even been thirty minuets before she heard screams coming from the nearby village. Cries and panicked yells sounded around him but that didn't matter now, he could save them he was killing them. To be honest he didn't really care that much that he was killing a human village he was too relieved that the beast had left Kagome alone to care. He doubted he'd care either way really even though he was involved with the Miko and the feelings he felt for her could most likely be described as love he didn't like humans still. Kagome rushed into the village watching him as he ripped people into mangled and bloody pieces and she knew some how that this wasn't nearly the end.

_I, I feel like a monster  
I, I feel like a monster_

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key  
I keep it caged but I can't control it  
'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down  
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?  


She had known all along that he was a full-blooded Youkai and had a beast inside him, she had seen him the first time she met him and heard the stories of how dangerous he was. She had even seen how even as a Half-breed Inuyasha had a beast inside of him. So as she watched the man she loved tear people apart she couldn't hate him, she could dig inside herself as deep as possible and never find it because it wasn't there. Kagome had fallen in love with him, not the puppy love or the lust so often misplaced as love no this was god honest full blown madly, deeply, truly love. He was killing and maiming people in front of her and she couldn't help them but what hurt the most was she couldn't help him either. She knew it wasn't the man she loved doing this though he was quite capable of it he had a lot of control and he only lost his control in certain things one being his half brother the other being her when she teased him sexually. The monster turned to her as most of the village lay bleeding at his feet, his eyes locked onto hers and he moved towards her. Stalking her like a hunter would his next meal; she gave him credit he lived up to his name in every sense of the word. He was on top of her in seconds his bloody hand gripping her hips tightly. She noticed he made no moves to hurt her but she didn't want to see if this monster was a friend or foe, she would do anything he wanted for Sesshomaru's sake.

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin  
I must confess that I feel like a monster  
I, I feel like a monster  
I, I feel like a monster_

She could feel his sharp claws dig into her hips slightly as he let out a low growl; he leaned forward and licked her cheek. Kagome tensed and froze not knowing what to do, she wondered if Sesshomaru knew what was going on or if he was completely lost to this monster's will.

_It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp  
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart  
No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream  
Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster_

Kagome felt herself being pushed down; her only thoughts were to obey so she wouldn't end up like the others. He slid down her body shredding her clothes she he did making her gasp. Was he really going to do that here? She thought as she closed her eyes. Sesshomaru was screaming inside his mind he could see Kagome laying there letting his beast shred her clothes "why are you letting me do this just get away" he screamed. He tried to stop his beast, take control of his body again but he couldn't he could only watch helplessly. Kagome gasped as she felt his tongue lick up her wet core and across her sensitive clit, she bucked her hips slightly and moaned. The beast gripped her hips holding her still as he feasted on her. Low growls mixed with her short loud mewls and encouragements. Sesshomaru felt the hunger and heat well up, his body seemed electric and alive. The beast finished feasting on her, and drug his body up hers kissing her roughly. "Sesshomaru?" she questioned eyes heavy lidded, the beast growled hovering over her his sharp fangs glistened. He tried to hold the beast back but it didn't matter, it rammed into Kagome's fragile body and pounded into relentlessly forcing cries of pain and pleasure out of her. Her arms clutched his shoulders, his claws dug into her hips as the monster took her. When he felt her clench around him, sending him into his own euphoria he bit down on her neck. Marking her and taking away any options she had of having anyone but him.

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin  
I must confess that I feel like a monster  
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun  
I must confess that I feel like a monster_

Kagome was lost in the moment she looked up to find him holding someone's heart, brief seconds pasted when she thought, it might just be hers. Until she felt it pounding against her ribcage did she decide he hadn't ripped it out of her. She looked beside her to find a cold lifeless stare looking back, a man probably in his thirties laid beside her the last owner of said heart. She looked back up at her lover his bloody hands and mouth, that matched the color of his eyes he was a scary monster the one mothers tell children to keep them safe. The one most never had the pleasure of surviving yet here she was she had felt his claws and survived. All because she was his and the monster was hers as well.

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin  
I must confess that I feel like a monster  
I've gotta lose control, he something radical  
I must confess that I feel like a monster_

He opened his eyes and she was there, looking at him in worry and hope. The once cold crimson was back to the cold gold amber she was used to. He stood up looking around at the carnage before him how she survived he didn't know, somehow she had made it out alive with only minor cuts and bruises from her rut with the beast. He knew from experience no one human or demon survived that and yet her she stood. Baring his mark and wearing his Haori, she smiled at him and touched his cheek. "Sesshomaru thank god you're ok," she whispered, making him look at her all this time she had been worried about him? Why? He didn't deserve that he was a monster, a ruthless killer with no control. "Why don't you hate me … I killed so many people and could have killed you" he asked looking away from her in a weird moment of shame. Mostly he just was upset he had lost control he prized himself on keeping control and being able to remain impassive and regal. Here he was lying on the ground covered in blood and mud and other nasty things the lowest he could get, but he still had her. Kagome turned his head to her and smiled, "I love you so much and nothing you do can change that not even killing a whole village or losing your control it doesn't matter I will always love you" she said as she leaned down and sealed it in a kiss.

But he still felt like a monster……………

I, I feel like a monster  
I, I feel like a monster  
I, I feel like a monster  
I, I feel like a monster

**A/N:**_ please _**R/R**_ and tell me what you think of this I know it is different but I'd appreciate the Review dearly_


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